Its a new beginning

Bismillah..

Hi there!...hmm...before I start, I would love to warn you guys that this entry might be a bittttttttttttt longer than the usual..(huhu...well..its the last entry for 2012!...^^,)

~2012~

What can I conclude about the year two-zero-one-two?..emm..To begin with...(eceh!..looks like a story telling kind of thing isn't it?..haha!...let me be 'perasan' a bit..^_^v)..The year 2012 has come to its end..just a few hours left..There are indeed so many significant events occurring throughout the year...some has meet its end, others are still on going..

~2012~

The year where I have stumbled many times...yes...I have lost count of how many times I was on my knees..begging for the air to breathe. I was at the lowest point of my life..nothing seems to be right..I failed to see, to hear, to sense...life is indeed twisted!

I have felt the destructive heart break, mental collapse and I nearly paralyzed myself - refuse to admit the mistake and having the guts to move on. I was lost...nobody seems to be in handy..my world revolves only around mistakes...(yeah...one after another...)

I was so afraid of losing something that is not even promised for me. I was blind to see the truth, I failed to use my conscience to evaluate the things around me. I was so afraid..I am in the state of mental denial - where people refuse to admit the reality..

I hold on to the wrong things..I make my stand on a weak base..I fall again and again and again..There were signs everywhere and in every moment but I blindfolded myself..refuse to see..refuse to listen..I am nothing more than a deaf..

2012 is the year that witness the downside of me..my life, my academic, my everything..I am human at the outside but a hallow on the inside..nobody to turn to..I lost again..

But Allah is the Most Merciful..

HE wakes me up by a huge momentum...that leaves an impact..that forces me to look at things on the other side..to force me to nail myself to where I belong..to make me eat the bitter medicine...I am too sick..I need more than just a simple advice and Allah knows that.

Slowly and with a shaky legs, I tried to stand up again..It was hard..as hard as you can imagine..its like you are eating the swords..its painful to finally realize how wrong you are and how twisted your life is..but I know I can't give up now..I found a new meaning in my life..I built myself from inside..I cried a lot..a year that filled with tears..(this I have to admit...T..T)..

Alhamdulillah...in every bitterness, there's a sweetness..

I learn about my creator and the purpose of my life..from there, I found my strength..I feel blessed..There are sacrifices that I have to make in order to straighten my life back..there are costs that need to be paid..I ask myself to 'redha' as this is the price that I need to pay..

I told myself  "InsyaAllah, the joy will come after.."

I make my baby step to gain the strength but this time I'll make sure I stand on a concrete base..that is Iman..Along the way up, I reflect on so many things..I come to my sense..I have to be thankful for everything that had happened in my life, the events, the moments, the people...I shall be thankful..

SubhanaAllah, my eyes are slowly open...to see the beauty in every incident. I can't express my genuine gratitude for the family,cousins,friend and others who have helped me to get through this..I am still learning..learn to be a better person, a better muslimah..not just at words, but at heart..InsyaAllah..

It is so magnificent that we can see things from a different angle and this can only be done when we are alone and looking at ourselves from the outside..I learnt that - we need to find 'our' time to audit ourselves..(this is what we call 'muhasabah diri'..the act of reflecting ourselves..)

Its a new beginning...

When the year nearly conclude itself, another test is up..its a battle between two humble hearts..but now I know "if it is meant to be, it happens"..So I pray for the battle to result in good terms for both hearts. I am ashamed to ask Allah more than I should because HE has given me so many gifts..so, let me be patient this time..Allah is testing the hearts..and I chose to try my best to be a good servant..(though I sometimes repeat the mistakes..but we are all the learners to Allah..HE knows better..)..We have lots to learn, to accomplish, to achieve..lets be patient..^_^

~2013~

I welcome 2013 with a warm heart and leaving 2012 with no regret..I experienced a lot and learnt as much..For the bitterness and sweetness, I shall be thankful..Alhamdulillah for the chance to live and meet another year..InsyaAllah to be a better muslimah is my pledge..and may Allah ease my way..

And with that, I conclude my 2012 story..#ChillaxAllahKanAda

p/s: Tears are running down as I wrote this..The mixture of sadness and happiness..Allahuakbar..

Save Gaza

Bismillah..

Hi fellas...ooookaayyy...today's entry in not so much on the new idea that flows on my brain but it is more like I-found-the-misplaced-item and I feel like "Hey,I wrote this!"..(huhu...careless me...don't even remember where I put my stuffs..*_*)..Okay enough with the intro, here I humbly present to you a bit of my novice-mental-lexical..

Save GAZA

As I walked on the deck

I saw crystal blue sea

The open skies that calms all hearts

I heard voices of the people

Scattering and discussing

"We need to deliver these!"

"These are the purest gems-only for them"

The captain said.

The day was bright

The birds humming

The breeze touches us

But never we felt cold

To them we serve

We never turn back.

There comes the sea monsters

Swimming and flying

The devils eyes and the red they brought

Like a thunder they moved

Like a thief they sneaked

"We unarmed! We unarmed!"

The captain said

But they are like the deaf

Failed to synthesized the syntax.

They are the monster

But they are rats!

Attacking from the back

Un-value the decent guys.

Nine lights dimmed

Curse them!

Today is yours

Tomorrow we shall come back.

To HIM I pray

As HE the one will pay

Silent all the melancholic melodies that have been played

Bring peace to them and

Make victory with us.

*Based on the Viva Palestina Mission*

Back to Score 1

Salamun Alaik..

Sometimes we feel like we have everything that we need. We know what is best for us. We see things as the way we want them to be. But, when the time comes, our knowledge is tested. We stumbled, we are in pain again..We are back to score 1.

Sometimes we are at our best. We do things as how they should be done. We avoid mistakes. We improved. But when the time comes, we forget. We are on our knees. We are back to score 1.

Sometimes we feel like we are at the upper hand. We then assume we are good enough. We believe that we are entitled to get what we want. We feel at ease. But when the time comes, we lost. We are blind to see the truth as we did when we were in pain. We are back to score 1.

To Allah we seek forgiveness, as we are humble servants who make mistakes again and again.

To Allah we repent, making promises that we know we should try our best to keep.

But we are human that full with sin and always off our feet. We will always back to score 1.

"Ya Allah, give me a little strength so I can make my way up again when I am back to score 1. Give me the strength not to give up, not now not ever. Take me when my time is up. But give me chance to be a better Muslimah. One day, InsyaAllah..I want to receive my scoring book with my right hand"

*Ikat ilmu dengan amal* *ChillaxAllahKanAda*

~Picture is credited to Mr.Google~

You don't own anything, Allah Does

Salamun Alaik

Today I as woke up, I wanted to perform my Solat Subuh but suddenly I realize...(Oh noooo....red light!..huhu...you-know-the-every-month-circle-..T.T)..I was a bit sad because I left a few juz of Al-Quran which I intended to finish. But suddenly, a tiny little voice in my brain speaks to me: "Subhanallah, Allah wants to show to you, no matter how good your plan is, even if its something related to ibadah - when Allah doesn't allow it to happen today, it simply wont happen!"

...

So this has made me reflect on myself...yes..I don't own anything in this world, because everything belongs to Allah Almighty..I can't claim anything in this world as mine..no we can't say "Ini hak aku", "Aku yang beli benda ni" "Semua ni atas usaha aku" "Dia aku punya"...(and the examples continues...huhu...I fall in this claiming activities as well...I am just a humble servant..^^,)

...

Everything in this world belongs to Allah. Nothing will happen without HIS knowledge and concerns. HE is the one who will decide if we can borrow anything from HIM...(from Allah we came, to HIM we return...basic concept isn' it??but takes times and maturity to understands it..*_*)..Like my story earlier, even though I am so close to khatam, but if it is not the time yet, it won't happen..I have to wait, and the time will come and perhaps I can read better or maybe Allah wants me to khatam on a specific day...(hey...Be Positive to Allah..^^,)

...

So whenever you feel something is just an inch away from your reach, but you still can't own it, always remember maybe it is not meant for YOU yet..maybe the timing is wrong, maybe you are not patient enough, maybe you are not ready YET...Allah knows better...^_^v

The more you have knowledge on something, the more likely for you to argue but that is where your knowledge is being tested by Allah..whether you have comprehended the knowledge or just superficial understanding...(hukhukhuk...right on my face....T.T)..We are all the students of Allah..we make mistakes, we admit, and we repent...InsyaAllah...#ChillaxAllahKanAda

*Don't be sad* *Control your circle* *Reflect on your daily life*

Till we meet again in the next entry!

...

There is no better way to learn than experiencing it yourself and try to look at everything with different approach. You will find the way...*wink

Love is Beautiful

Salamun Alaik

"Dan di antara tanda-tanda (kebesaran)-Nya ialah Dia menciptakan pasangan-pasangan untukmu dari jenismu sendiri, agar kamu cenderung dan merasa tenteram kepadanya, dan Dia menjadikan diantaramu rasa kasih dan sayang. Sungguh, pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda (kebesaran Allah) bagi kaum yang berpikir"

~Surah Ar-Rum:21~

To the ladies and gents out there, have you ever feel the vibration of love?triggered by the unknown source and the last thing we know, we can't describe our own feelings?

Let's us recall if there is any of these moments had ring a bell in our life..(huhu...this is exciting...^^,)

...

Have you ever feel like the moment your eyes meet someone's eyes, it feels like an electric vibration enters your heart?..(haha..ok electric vibration is a bit metaphor here...:-p)..Or have you feel like at ease when you talk to this particular someone?like the time has stopped, everything come back to pieces and suddenly the air is clean!you feel a huge relief...

...

However the feeling is not to some-random-anyone-you-met BUT only for that particular-one-human-being..(^_^v)..Well, my dear friends...that is what we call Love..

Love is not something that is absurd but it is another gift from Allah..the feeling of  kasih dan sayang as mentioned in the Al-Quran is one of the signs to Allah the Greatest!..(Ar-Rum:21)

...

Nevertheless, there are rules that come with it. A huge sense of responsibility to those who really digest the true meaning of love. Love is not about lust or physical attraction but its the togetherness of two hearts. A pledge made by two hearts to work hand-in-hand in finding Allah...(love is a true beauty if we really understand it...huhu..in which i had failed to do so once upon a time..but hey! I am still learning here..I am still green..^^,) 

However, there is not greater love than the love from Allah the Creator..:-)..HE made us the way we are, HE loves us when nobody wants us, HE protects us when nobody cares..So ladies and gents, let us seek the love from Allah and be a loyal companion to HIM and HE will show us to our human companion..InsyaAllah..

So why worry much if right now you still have not found your Miss Right or Mr Right?the promises are clear and absolute!..be patient and #ChillaxAllahKanAda...

Prepare ourselves for the good things that will come..and pray that we will meet someone that will lead us to Jannah..InsyaAllah

Redha

Salamun Alaik..

Hi friends!!...here, let us talk about 'redha' - a concept of trusting the Qada' and Qadar in Islam..So how is this 'redha' concept works??Many have question this...(including me, myself...huhu)..We often see that many people said "Aku redha dengan semua ni", "Nak buat macam mana, redha je lah", (and the list continues....^^, I am such a lazy writer..haha) but if they really understand the concept of redha, why are they still be sad? Like the old English saying -crying over the spilled milk- really?so why is this happen?

Let me share my humble opinion on this..(I am still learning to appreciate the beauty of Islam..InsyaAllah..^_^)

People are sad because they do not understand the concept of 'redha' with their heart and soul. They take the concept of 'redha' by its literal meaning only but not the soul of it. 

Redha refers to our response toward something that make us sad. For instance, our dearest family has died in car accident..(May Allah protects us..)..so as a true believer of Islam, we should not cried our heart out (not to say that we cannot be sad but do not let the sadness overwhelm us..) instead we have to believe that Allah has a better plan for us. And it is destined to happen. Everything that happens has its reason and Allah will replace it with something that is better and much fulfilling. That is Allah's promise!!..

In 'Rukun Iman' number 6 we have to believe in Qada' and Qadar from Allah. It means we have to take whatever that Allah has planned for us with an open heart - no matter if it makes us sad - because always remember that the gift from Allah comes in two ways - in happiness and in sadness -

But if we allow our emotion run over us, we can never see the precious gift behind the sadness..(the most valuable gift cannot be obtained without a bit of effort doesn't it?)..

So whenever that we are tested, always be patient and apply the concept of 'redha' in its rightful place. InsyaAllah, You will find the answer of what you are looking for because Allah is a True Lover. Allah loves His servant so much until He won't let us be sad for long..(haaa.....such a beauty isn't it...no boyfriend can do this...huhu..:-p)

So, to all my friends out there....let us apply the concept of 'redha' throughout our life..

Stay humble, be patient and redha for everything that happens to us!

- Dan mereka berkata, "Segala puji bagi Allah yang telah menghilangkan kesedihan dari kami.Sungguh, Tuhan kami benar-benar Maha Pengampun, Maha Mensyukuri yang dengan kurnia-Nya menempatkan kami dalam tempat yang kekal (surga); di dalamnya kami tidak merasa lelah dan tidak pula merasa lesu." -

- Surah Fatir : 34,35 -

#ChillaxAllahKanAda

Bersenang hati lah wahai mukmin

entry bahasa melayu..

"Sungguh, laki-laki dan perempuan muslim, laki-laki dan perempuan mukmin, laki-laki dan perempuan yang tetap dalam ketaatannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang benar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang sabar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang khusyuk, laki-laki dan perempuan yang bersedekah, laki-laki dan perempuan yang berpuasa, laki-laki dan perempuan yang memelihara kehormatannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang banyak menyebut (nama) Allah, Allah telah menyediakan untuk mereka ampunan dan pahala yang besar"

~ surah Al-Ahzab: 35~

wa'Allahualam

#ChillaxAllahKanAda